Sunday, 1 July 2018

I Love You and I’m Cheating. Why?

Even people who are happy in their relationships can cheat.
 
It’s common to think that people cheat in a relation because there is a problem with either the cheater or the relationship. We often assume that people who cheat have either a curse following them, a form of emotional immaturity that pushes them to cheat or probably an unresolved trauma.

And most of the time, we assume that the primary relationship is flawed in some significant way that creates a perceived need for external sex and intimacy. Either way, we tend to view infidelity as symptomatic of underlying problems. The cheater and/or the relationship is troubled, and cheating is the result!

And guess what, more often than not, this is the case. Sometimes the cheater has an attachment deficit disorder. Sometimes the cheater has unresolved childhood trauma and uses the excitement of illicit sex and romance as a distraction from painful feelings. Sometimes the cheater knows that he or she is in a lousy relationship and uses those feelings to justify the infidelity or to locate a new partner before abandoning the old one. Sometimes the primary relationship lacks sexual fire or emotional intimacy, so the cheater has a one-night stand or an affair to fill the void. And so it goes.

That said, the cause and effect model described above doesn’t fully explain all infidelity. Over the years, I’ve had countless clients tell me that they love their spouse, they have a great relationship, they enjoy each other’s company, they respect each other, they’re attracted to each other, the sex is good, and there are no money or family or other obvious relationship problems. The only real issue is that they’re cheating and they can’t, or don’t, want to stop.

So there the cheater sits, happy in his or her relationship but still cheating and wondering why. “Surely,” the cheater says, “there must be something wrong with me or with my relationship, or I wouldn’t be doing this.” And typically, a therapist will start to explore those possibilities with them, searching for an obvious underlying problem to explore and address.

What I have learned over the course of nearly three decades as a therapist specializing in sex and intimacy issues is that infidelity is often a symptom of a flawed personality or relationship, but not always. Some people are reasonably emotionally healthy and in a wonderful primary relationship, and they still choose to cheat. And this is true for both men and women.

Esther Perel, who verbalizes this idea in her book The State of Affairs, suggests four reasons why people who are generally well adjusted and happy in their primary relationship might nevertheless engage in infidelity, risking their marriage, their home, their family, their standing in their church or community, and more.
  1. Self-exploration
  2. The seductive nature of transgression
  3. The allure of lives not lived
  4. Feeling new (or exiled) emotions

Self-Exploration

Searching for a new sense of self is likely the most powerful of these reasons (and it may encompass the other three). About this, Perel writes:

"People stray for a multitude of reasons, and every time I think I have heard them all, a new variation emerges. But one theme comes up repeatedly: affairs as a form of self-discovery, a quest for a new (or a lost) identity. For these seekers, infidelity is less likely to be a symptom of a problem, and is more often described as an expansive experience that involves growth, exploration, and transformation."

For these cheaters, infidelity is an exploration of never experienced or long-repressed parts of the self. It is freedom from who they have been and currently are. Interestingly, they usually don’t want to change who they are, they simply want to escape those constraints for a short while—to feel young again, to feel unburdened, to explore and grow and experience life. When these individuals cheat, they’re not looking for another person, they’re looking for themselves (or, at the very least, for a lost or long-ignored aspect of themselves.)

The Seductive Nature of Transgression


Sometimes happy people who cheat say they feel like a teenager when they’re sneaking around and having sex or an affair. It’s exciting and forbidden and they get a kick out of breaking the rules. It’s like a five-year-old sneaking a cookie that his mother said he couldn’t have. The forbidden cookie just tastes extra sweet.

In his book, The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin discusses this phenomenon from a sexual perspective with his erotic equation: Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement. That is the seductive nature of transgression. Because the cheater is not supposed to have extracurricular sex and romance, he or she wants it even more. For children and teens, pushing limits in this way is a natural exploration of self and the world. As an adult, infidelity can feel like more of the same.

The Allure of Lives Not Lived


Here, instead of transgression, it’s missed opportunities that draw cheaters in. They think about the one that got away, or the one that never was, or the life they could have had if only… This may cause them to feel limited and fenced in by the life and relationship they’ve chosen—regardless of how much they enjoy that life and relationship. So, they indulge their curiosity. They use extracurricular sex to see who they might have been if they’d opted for a different path. Again, this is a form of self-exploration, where infidelity introduces the individual to the stranger within.

Feeling New or Exiled Emotions


Lastly, happy people who cheat may do so to experience new or exiled emotions. Again, this is a form of self-exploration. Men can be especially vulnerable to this, as they are often told, as they grow up, to repress and not express their emotions. Over time, they learn to “cowboy up” and not feel. Unfortunately, in so doing they often stifle joy as well as sorrow, pleasure as well as pain. For these individuals, regardless of gender, infidelity is more of an emotional release than a sexual release. And once again, these cheaters are exploring their inner-self.

Whatever the Reason, Cheating Hurts


Are some reasons for cheating better than others? And does the answer to that question really matter? From the perspective of the betrayed partner, probably not. For the betrayed partner, sexual betrayal hurts the same, no matter the underlying cause, and there is no good reason to do it. From a therapy standpoint, however, the reasons a person cheats do matter. If a person is happy in his or her relationship and cheats as a way of exploring the self, the approach to healing is very different than with a person who cheats as a (misguided) way of addressing personal pathology, unresolved childhood trauma, emotional immaturity, or problems within the relationship.





Credit: PsychologyToday
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Friday, 29 June 2018

Wisconsin man injured after upskirting shoe camera explodes!


A man in the US State of Wisconsin was injured after a camera installed in his shoe exploded, local police say.

The 32-year-old had installed the device to take illicit photographs of women under their skirts.

Local police say he handed himself in but was not charged because he had not taken any images or video before the camera battery exploded.

Madison Police Chief Mike Koval wrote about the unusual incident on a blog published on Tuesday.

"When the explosion happened, he got treatment for minor burns, then disclosed what happened to his mentor, a clergyman," Officer David Dexheimer told the Wisconsin State Journal newspaper.

The man then reportedly handed himself into police reporting a "sex offence

On his blog record of the incident, Mr Koval logged that the man had been "counselled on his actions" and then released .

But the blog added that the investigation into the incident was continuing.

Upskirting - the act of secretly filming or photographing someone under their clothing without permission - was signed into law as a felony offence in Wisconsin in 2015.

The offence carries a maximum punishment of three and a half years in prison and a $10,000 (£7,600) fine in the US state.


BBC
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Tuesday, 12 June 2018

Photo of Policeman dressed in 'native' and wielding AK47 Rifle scare Nigerians!!!

 

 This photo of an unusually dressed man, who is supposed to be a Nigerian officer as shared by @falzdblackgee on Twitter, has generated negative and unsavory remarks from Nigerians.

The supposed officer is seen dressed in white native attire, with a rubber flip-on while wielding an AK47 Rifle. That's possibly on a Nigerian street!

See what @falzdblackgee wrote on twitter:


"@falzdblackgee: How did we end up like this as a country. He is suppose to be a policeman protecting lives and property. Will u wait for this man if you meet him outside. He looks like an armed robber to me. I heard he is in PH. @Gidi_Traffic

 
If a colleague mistakes this man to be a criminal or even a Boko Haram terrorist, and shoots him dead..will the gods still be blamed??? 


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Wiki Loves Earth photo contest: Upload photos of natural heritage sites in Nigeria to help Wikipedia and win fantastic prizes!


Culled from Wikimedia Commons...for you!

Wiki Loves Earth is an international photographic contest that focus on natural heritage sites, and landscape. The contest is organized worldwide by Wikimedia affiliates and recognized Wikimedia User Groups. The public takes photos of heritage sites, upload those to Wikimedia Commons, and then they can be used on Wikipedia and elsewhere.

This is the second time Nigeria will be participating in the contest and it would be held during 1 June — 1 July 2018. In the first edition, over 700 quality images was uploaded ny participants in Nigeria. Everyone is welcome to get involved, whether as a participant (photographer), organizational volunteer, or both.


Join us to contribute free-licensed images of natural heritages in Nigeria. Wiki Loves Earth Nigeria Team

Runcie Chidebe Project Coordinator
Olaniyan Olushola (Technical Manager)
Kaizenify (Outreach support)
T Cells (Online Support) Help Us

Tell your friends
Share on your social networks (Facebook, Twitter, Google+, etc) using Our social media hashtags: #WLENigeria #WLE2018
Write a blog post about us
Take part in the contest
Invite us to the national park or natural heritage site you manage
Send us a message OR join us via [email protected]

Time Line
Start date: 1 June 2018
End date : 1 July 2018
Results: 1 August 2018

Prizes
Prizes will be awarded to best three images.

LG G- PAD (NEW) V400 8GB 7.0 Inch Wifi Tablet NGN
Nokia 2 - Android 7.1 Nougat - 4g LTE - 4,100 mAh Battery - Black NGN
Aptoyu Bluetooth Speaker with Microphone and Powerbank_Black NGN Other categories

Top 10 contributors (by number of photographs) will be rewarded with WLE T-shirt.



FOLLOW THIS LINK TO UPLOAD YOUR IMAGES AND STAND A CHANCE TO WIN FANTASTIC PRIZES!


Wikimedia


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Monday, 11 June 2018

Three Catholic priests reportedly die after burning shrines in Anambra state


Three Catholic priests have reportedly died all within the space of six months in IgboUkwu village, Aguata Local Government Area of Anambra State. According to reports, their death comes after about 15 shrines were destroyed in the state and traditional rulers promised to retaliate.

The latest Catholic priest to die in the community is Reverend Father Christopher Azolibe. He was the parish priest of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church, the foremost Catholic community in Igbo-ukwu town.





Before the death of Rev. Father Azolibe, two other priests died after the Christian community in the town carried out a crusade that led to burning of shrines on December 29th, 2017.

Prior to the burning of the shrines which locals claim was spearheaded by Rev. Fr. Emmanuel Obimma (Ebube Muonso), the spiritual director of Holy Ghost Adoration Ministry, the traditionalists had received information that the priest was coming for community “cleansing” and had written to the Parish Priest of the host church, urging the parishioners to steer clear of their religious sites.

But the priest reportedly went ahead with the cleansing after which traditionalists reportedly vowed to retaliate. With the death of three priests in the space of six months, locals now fear the threats made by the traditional worshipers are coming to pass.








LIB



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Monday, 14 May 2018

Somebody will just come out from ‘nowhere’ and start shining…

Somebody will just come out from ‘nowhere’ and start shining…

The above statement is not just a fallacy but a misconception about life and how things work.

It is not possible for someone to just emerge from nowhere. It is not possible for one to just come out and become rich or a superstar if he was nowhere.

To become a superstar or a fulfilled man in whatever field you find yourself, you must make sacrifices, you must practice, you must rehearse, you must work hard and you must be fully committed to the course.

The sacrifices you are making today, the sleepless nights, the practices and the commitment you attach to that course or job or programme is what will pay you off tomorrow. And by then someone out there will start screaming “Somebody will just came out from nowhere and start shining…” No! This is not true. You made the sacrifices. You worked for it and you deserve where you are.

Life itself is dependent on faith. We learn to do things because we have faith that we’ll need them tomorrow. We go to the gym, exercise, learn to read and write and acquire useful skills because we know and believe that they will be helpful to us in the future.

So from today, attach more commitment to whatever you do. Work harder and learn weller because those you see out there did same thing. They didn’t just emerge from nowhere. They were somewhere rehearsing, practicing, working hard with faith and that is why they are where they are today, SHINING!

May God bless your hustle.




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Friday, 6 April 2018

Toothbrush removed from Kenyan man's stomach


As unbelievable as it sounds, doctors in Kenya’s coastal city of Mombasa say they have successfully removed a toothbrush from a man’s stomach.

David Charo said he had swallowed the toothbrush accidentally on Sunday, while brushing his teeth.

He had moved from one hospital to another for five days as he tried to seek medical attention.

Most of the hospitals turned him away, saying they did not have specialists to carry out such an operation.

An X-ray showed the toothbrush lodged in Mr Charo's stomach. The incident has left Twitter users baffled, as this tweet shows:


David Charo said he had swallowed the toothbrush accidentally on Sunday, while brushing his teeth.

A local TV station has shared a picture of the toothbrush:




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[UPDATE WITH PHOTOS] 30 Killed In Offa Bank Robbery


The death toll from Thursday’s robbery attack in Offa town in Kwara State has risen to at least 30.

About 30 robbers had hit the town, raiding five commercial banks along the Owode Market Area of the town in Offa Local Government Area of the state.

The attack which lasted for hours had left the banks damaged with many feared killed and many more injured. The armed robbers were said to have made away with several millions of naira from the banks, leaving behind a tale of sorrow, tears and blood.

Initial reports had put the death toll at between 12 and 15, but the figure has risen significantly.

Nine police officers were among those killed in the attack while there are fears that the death toll may rise as some of the assailants were said to have attacked the police station in the area.


Channels Television gathered that the gunmen arrived the town in seven vehicles and stationed themselves in each of the banks around 4:30 pm.

At the General Hospital Offa, one of the medical doctors revealed that 21 bodies were brought in to the facility and nine of them were police officers.

The doctor on duty at a private hospital also in the town also confirmed the death of three victims while one was on admission.

Some residents in the area described the robbery as bloody and called for more security presence in the town, saying the incident has become an affair of every five years.

Meanwhile, the Senate President, Dr Bukola Saraki, has condemned the attack as a wicked act perpetrated by cruel individuals.

In a Facebook post, he said, 
“Yesterday’s savage attack on unsuspecting citizens and establishments in Offa LGA that led to significant loss of lives and injury is a despicable act committed by cruel individuals.
“Make no mistake, there will never be any valid grounds or rationale behind such violence that has left many families without their loved ones — and one more community in grief and shock.”


Senator Saraki, however, called on the public to collaborate with the government to prevent a reoccurrence of the ugly incident.

He also stressed the need for Nigerians to cooperate with the government at all levels to increase the security of various communities across the country.

See photos of the scene of the incident below:











May the souls of the dead rest in peace. And may God heal the injured and also give Nigeria the strength and political will to overcome these challenges. Amen


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Facebook Takes Down 270 Pages to Stop Repeat of Cambridge Analytica


Today we’re taking an important step to protect the integrity of elections around the world by taking down more than 270 pages and accounts operated by a Russian organization called the Internet Research Agency (IRA). Most of our actions against the IRA to date have been to prevent them from interfering in foreign elections. This update is about taking down their pages targeting people living in Russia. This Russian agency has repeatedly acted deceptively and tried to manipulate people in the US, Europe, and Russia, and we don’t want them on Facebook anywhere in the world.

Here’s more background on our efforts to protect the integrity of elections:


After 2016, we found that the Russian IRA had set up a network of hundreds of fake accounts to spread divisive content and interfere in the US presidential election. We began investigating their activity globally and taking down their pages and accounts.


Since then, we have improved our techniques to prevent nation states from interfering in foreign elections, and we’ve built more advanced AI tools to remove fake accounts more generally. There have been a number of important elections since then where these new tools have been successfully deployed. For example:

In France, leading up to the presidential election in 2017, we found and took down 30,000 fake accounts.

In Germany, before the 2017 elections, we worked directly with the Federal Office for Information Security to learn from them about the threats they saw and to share information.

In the US Senate Alabama special election last year, we deployed new AI tools that proactively detected and removed fake accounts from Macedonia trying to spread misinformation.

We have also significantly increased our investment in security. We now have about 15,000 people working on security and content review. We’ll have more than 20,000 by the end of this year.

These efforts have all made it harder for nation states to interfere in foreign elections. With today’s update, we have now identified a large network the IRA is using to manipulate people in Russia itself. This is the next step towards removing them from Facebook entirely.

We’ve found the IRA has been using complex networks of fake accounts to deceive people. While we respect people and governments sharing political views on Facebook, we do not allow them to set up fake accounts to do this. When an organization does this repeatedly, we take down all of their pages, including ones that may not be fake themselves. The pages and accounts we took down today were removed because they were controlled by the IRA, not based on the content they shared.

This particular set of pages and accounts was used to target people in Russia and people speaking Russian in neighboring countries like Azerbaijan, Uzbekistan and Ukraine. In this case, some of the pages we removed belong to Russian news organizations that we determined were controlled by the IRA. About one million people followed at least one of their Facebook pages and about 500,000 followed at least one of their Instagram accounts. In the next few weeks, we’ll release a tool so you can check if you liked or followed an IRA-controlled account.

Security isn’t a problem you ever fully solve. Organizations like the IRA are sophisticated adversaries who are constantly evolving, but we’ll keep improving our techniques to stay ahead, especially when it comes to protecting the integrity of elections.

Mark Zuckerberg



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Thursday, 5 April 2018

Everybody Is Becoming A Pastor, An Apostle, Or Evangelist And They Are All Opening Churches In Wealthy Cities. There are no sinners in villages?


A friend of mine sent me this piece on Whatsapp, and i believe its been circulated real wide. In as much as i am not advocating for any religion or your method of worship, i think there are valid points which we need to reflect on after reading this lovely write up.

This is how i received it...

DECEIVING CATHOLICS IN NIGERIA

Benson Idahosa once told his pastors: "If Catholics know what they have, and if Catholic priests get it right, you will be out of business."

Look at all the powerful spiritual resources in the Catholic Church: the Bible and sound interpretation from experts, the Mass, the sacraments, various novenas, Eucharistic adoration, the rosary, the various spiritual groups in the Church.

Yet, you let deceivers deceive you.

They tell you that Catholics are not born again. You leave your church to theirs and all you see is that "born again" means the license to live in sin and just believe in Jesus' name and everything is okay. Thus, you live in sin but don't feel guilty. They become worse sinners than they ever were before they left the Catholic church. The Catholic Church accepts that it is a church of saints and sinners. We see sin as sin and we feel guilty when we sin. But you leave for a church where they live in sin but feel self-righteous. "Born again" has become the killing of conscience against guilt, but not a conversion from sin. Instead of teaching people to avoid sin, they teach people to simply not feel guilty over sin.


In the Catholic Church, your priests direct you to pray and do not enslave you to themselves with false prophecies. They don't make you believe that only their prayers will work for you. Instead, they direct you to pray and do not make themselves the sources of your blessings. Yet, you leave for churches where people tell you that they are the only ones who will pray for you before God can answer favourably.

They condemn fundraisings, such as Bazaar, but they milk their members dry and make their members see failure to pay tithe as a sin, but fornication and adultery are not preached against. Their church members are more afraid of not paying tithe than they are of fornication, adultery and abortion.

You leave your church because your church does not preach prosperity as a proof of holiness. Then, you go to a church where someone tells you to donate your life earnings and savings in order to prosper. However, for the years you are there, the only ones prospering are the pastors telling you this and collecting your money. Where is the prosperity for which you left your church?

Everybody is becoming a pastor, an apostle, or evangelist and they are all opening churches in wealthy cities. There are no sinners in villages? With all the great education which Catholic priests have and can use to make great wealth if they choose to, they live in villages with the people and do not preach prosperity as a proof of righteousness. Catholic priests are the most educated church leaders in Nigeria and they can use their education to make big money if they were to go after money. Yet, they are priests in villages. That does not appeal to you, Catholics?

They move on the streets in cities looking for members and distributing handbills where fake testimonies say: "When I started worshiping in this church, I built a house." "As soon as I started attending this church, I got my American visa." So, all the people who have built houses left the Catholic church before they could build houses? No Catholic owns a house? All the people who have got visas to America left the Catholic Church before they got American visas? No Catholic has got American visa and there are no Catholics abroad? How many people have built houses and gone to America since leaving the Catholic Church?


In order to keep you in their churches, they claim to be prophesying that they see God using you in America and Europe. Why is God not calling you to use you in your village where there is poverty, no electricity, good road and big cars? There are sinners in America and Europe but none in your village? Has God converted everyone in your village? You heard those prophecies years ago, but you are still where you were - in Nigeria. How is America? How is Europe? What country are you in Europe? Since you are now in Europe and America and wealthy, can you, in Christian charity, send me some dollars, Euros or pounds? Even if you have travelled to America or Europe, how is that a reason to leave your church? Is it America you are looking for or God and salvation?

When have all the reasons for which Catholics leave their church in Nigeria become a reason for the existence of a church? Even if these are the reasons for the existence of a church, who has more houses, money and American visas more than Catholics?

Behaviour, righteous behaviour, is the sign that a person knows God. Put all the Catholics in Nigeria on one side and put non-Catholics on the other let us see. Is there better godliness among non-Catholics than among Catholics in Nigeria?

A friend of mine working in the Christian Pilgrimage Board of one of the states in Nigeria told me that everybody in the pilgrimage board had a title of Christian leadership: pastor, deacon/deaconess, apostle, evangelist, Rev. Fr., prophet/prophetess, man of God. Yet, he said, the corruption in the Christian Pilgrimage Board was worse than that in any other department of the government house.

Remember, Paul said he preached the crucified Christ (1Cor. 1:23; and 1Cor. 2:2). He said this so that the faith of believers would not be based on anything but on Christ crucified. Today, wealth is the standard of righteousness and the strategy for hunting for church membership. People are being hunted and deceived into churches, not so that they can know Christ, but so that the hunters can be rich.

Remember that Satan tempted Jesus to worship him for the sake of wealth, but Jesus rejected Satan's offer, so that he would not make wealth the reason for faith. Today, people are worshipping Satan by making wealth the reason for worshipping God. The very temptation that Jesus overcame to teach us a lesson, is what people are succumbing to and using as an attraction for church membership. Wherever wealth or prosperity is the reason for church membership, such a church is a centre for devil worship.

If only you know what you have as a Catholic!

Be committed to your Catholic faith and don't allow yourself to be deceived.

-Fr. Robert Agbo-

So what do you think??



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Wednesday, 4 April 2018

Police destroy gun making factory in Ebonyi



The Ebonyi State Command of the Nigeria Police Force disclosed on Wednesday that it has destroyed a gun making factory in the state.

This feat is accompanied, according to the Police, with the recovery of a cache of 146 prohibited firearms and assorted ammunitions that were hitherto in possession of unauthorised persons in the state.


Titus Lamorde, the state Commissioner of Police, while briefing newsmen, said the arms were recovered following the Inspector General of Police, Ibrahim Idris, directive to all police commands and other formations to mop up illegal firearms and ammunitions in circulation nationwide.

He said the Command set up a task force headed by a Deputy Commissioner of Police in charge of Criminal Investigation Department, Oyeyemi Oyediran.

Lamorde said the police acting on a tip off destroyed a factory where guns were manufactured at Mgbo in Ohaukwu local government area of the state.
“The Police acting on a tip off discovered an arms making factory in Mgbo and on getting there the owner ran away. But we recovered some of the locally made arms there,” he said.
The police commissioner commended those who voluntarily surrendered their arms and urged others still with theirs to submit them immediately.


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BREAKING: Liverpool stun Man City 3-0 in Champions League quarter-final first leg


Mohamed Salah, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Sadio Mane scored as Liverpool stunned Manchester City 3-0 at Anfield in Wednesday’s first leg of their Champions League quarter-final.

Salah fired Liverpool ahead on 12 minutes with Oxlade-Chamberlain hammering in a terrific long-range strike before Mane headed in a third as Jurgen Klopp beat City counterpart Pep Guardiola for the sixth time in 10 meetings.

What an incredible result and a disappointment to all Manchester City fans.

The return fixture takes place in Manchester on April 10.






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Tuesday, 3 April 2018

10 New Strategies for Stress Management


Did you know you have a large number of capacities you are not using at full throttle?

There is a lot more you can do to manage your stress than you think. Much of it resides in building up your inner capacities.

I’ll review 10 of the best research-based strategies for managing stress. Many of these are tried and true tools you will know, and others will be new to you. And, what is especially new, is the connection with your inner capacities, known as character strengths, which can help you with each strategy.

Use reframing: This is a mental activity that involves looking at a stressor or negative situation and explaining it (realistically and honestly) in a positive or neutral way. Many times, when something bad happens to us, we get emotionally wrapped up in the negative. But, this is a bit dishonest as it’s usually not the whole picture. There’s usually another vantage point.

Strength tip: Use your strengths of critical thinking and hope to look at any negative situation in a fresh way. You might tap into hope to see how there are benefits to the stressor. You might deploy critical thinking to examine the situation from multiple, detailed angles. This will help you see pros and cons, positives and negatives.

Improve your planning:
Stress management research by Robert Epstein has made it clear that stress can be managed through planning. Start making your daily checklists, dust off your planners, and take action by organizing your weekly activities.


Strength tip: The essential strength you use when planning is prudence. You can learn to thinking prudently. Use your prudence to take stock each morning on the work tasks you’d like to accomplish, the household tasks you must get done, and the fun activities you want to do.

Learn relaxation:
Where would a stress management list be without relaxation techniques? Scores of studies have showed an important link with relaxation tools such as progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, guided imagery, clinical hypnosis, and biofeedback are all useful for managing stress.

Strength tip: Any relaxation strategy involves use of your self-regulation strength. This strength involves taking control of your breathing and creating a greater feeling of calmness in your body’s physiology. In turn, such self-regulation has a positive impact on your racing mind and your worries of the day.

Affirm your values: Research studies have shown that those who think about their highest values before a stressful event actually experience less stress and show a substantial decrease in the stress hormone, cortisol, compared to control groups.

Strength tip: Each of the 24 character strengths can be the subject of this activity – in other words, something highly valued. Prior to an upcoming stressor, reflect on how much you value one of your character strengths.

Use one of your signature strengths: Many studies, across cultures, now show that using one top strength in a new way leads to greater happiness and less distress.

Strength tip: The challenge is to consider how you will use your best quality in a new way. For a list of ideas, see this article here. This strategy helps you widen how you think about and how you act from your strengths.




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Ebonyi State Gets New SSG

Gov Dave Umahi
Governor Dave Umahi of Ebonyi has appointed Dr Hygenius Nwokwu as the new Secretary to State Government (SSG). The appointment came less than six hours after Prof Bernard Odoh, the former SSG, resigned his appointment.

The Chief Press Secretary (CPS) to Umahi, Mr Emmanuel Uzo confirmed the appointment in a telephone interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abakaliki on Tuesday.


He said: “Yes, Dr Hygenius Nwokwu has been appointed the new SSG and his appointment is with immediate effect.

” The Governor personally signed the appointment letter and the SSG has assumed duty immediately “.

Nwokwu has previously held appointments as Commissioner for Education, Commissioner for Rural Development and Commissioner in the Ebonyi Civil Service Commission.

He was until his present appointment, the Permanent Member in Ebonyi Secondary Education Board (SEB).

Odo, appointed SSG in May 29, 2015 resigned his appointment in the late hours of Monday, April 2.



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Police Arrest Pastor for Allegedly Killing Lover, Burying Her in Church


The Ogun Police Command on Tuesday arrested a pastor who allegedly killed his female lover and buried her body inside his church.

Parading the suspect at the scene of the crime, the Commissioner of Police, Ahmed Iliyasu, said the command had received a report of a missing person at the Divisional Headquarters in Ewekoro.

The commissioner said that the case was reported by one Adebola Saheed, who stated that his younger sister, Mrs Raliat Sanni, 35, had left home since March 21 and had yet to return.

Iliyasu said on the strength of the report, police operatives at Ewekoro Division led by SP Oluwarotimi Jeje, the Divisional Police Officer, swung into action and embarked on investigation.

He said the pastor, upon discreet analysis of facts, was the last person who was seen with the missing person.

“The so called Pastor was promptly arrested and thoroughly interrogated.

“In the course of interrogation, the pastor confessed to killing the victim and burying her inside his church after removing her head and two hands for reasons only known to him and God,’’ he said.


The police commissioner said the suspect named another accomplice who was also paraded.

“This is the height of wickedness that can be meted out to a fellow human being. It will interest you to know that the victim was a secret lover to the pastor who eventually hacked her to death, ” he said.

He said that forensic investigation into the case had commenced and the matter would eventually be charged to court.

“This is another breakthrough resulting from painstaking technical intelligence investigation aimed at wiping out crime in our society as well as bringing to justice those who are adamant in making crime their business.

“I appeal to the people to be always watchful of those they associate with and always disclose their movements to at least one person close to them no matter how confidential the movement in order to prevent occurrence of this type of dastardly act, ” he said.

Speaking to journalists, the suspect said that he was not the one that killed the victim, alleging that it was his accomplice who carried out the act and later cut off her head and two hands.

The suspect, a teacher at Methodist High School, Private, Arigbajo, said that he was forced by the accomplice to join his cult group.

He revealed that the victim was killed in the process of his initiation as a member of the cult group.

The alleged accomplice, however, denied having anything to do with the pastor, saying that the last time he saw him was last year.

(NAN)


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